Finding My Dream

When I was little I wanted to be a cowboy. When I was a senior in high school I swore I wanted to be a police officer. As a freshman in college I didn't know what I wanted to be. As a sophomore in college I wanted to be a pediatric nurse. As a current graduate student I just want to be happy.

One year ago I had already received my acceptance letter for The University of South Carolina-Columbia to the Graduate School of Social Work. At that time I had a very well thought out plan of  becoming a therapist specifically working with Veterans.

This last  year I have had two amazing opportunities that have not only shaped me as a professional but have opened my eyes to my abilities as a social worker, my passion for serving others, and my ability to do far more than just listen.

This semester I got to volunteer with a brand new non-profit in Charleston called Palmetto Warrior Connection. The mission of Palmetto Warrior Connection is:

"To empower the Warrior and their family utilizing collaboration, advocacy and education by promoting relentless quality care." 

I cannot speak highly enough of the trained Veteran Advocates at PWC that ready to assist every veteran, active duty service member, family member and care taker that walks through their doors with housing, education, mental health support, and Veteran benefits.

Being a small part of this agency and their mission to reach every veteran and connect them with the services that they so immensely deserve has truly opened my vision and passion about outreach and advocacy!

The other opportunity that I was granted this past school year was a Graduate Assistantship with Operation Home in North Charleston whose mission is to help people remain in their homes by increasing safety and accessibility.

I've always sworn that I only ever wanted to do micro-social work, but this opportunity was on the macro level and I have slowly but surely made my way over to the "other side." Being able to connect community members with resources and agencies that can help them remain in their homes with integrity and respect has been an amazing learning experience.

If I wasn't afforded these opportunities this year I may not have realized my passion. 

I may not have found my dream.  Therapist.

Graduation is in 41 days. Maybe someday when I've stopped trying to save the world I will settle in an office and be a therapist, but not today. And not tomorrow, either. I can't tell you what's in my future, but now that I've found my dream I'm going to go confidently in the direction of it. 

What is your dream? What are you chasing after? 

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a]and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

I started this blog in January of 2014 as a way to document and remember the next chapter of my life. Unfortunately, I haven't been very good about remembering to write since last June. But, in the same regard, that can be interpreted as I haven't had time to write because I've been so busy living my life that God has so delicately planned for me. 

In a dual effort to not only record for my future self the memories I am about to make and the journey that I will be embarking on in a couple short months but also to stay connected and share with family and friends I am vowing to write AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH. Starting today. 

It is absolutely insane to think that I haven't written in over nine months. What is even more crazy to fathom is that my life has changed ten-fold in those nine months, and I couldn't be more happy about where my life is headed, those that God has placed in my life, and the adventures to come. 

In 49 short days I will have my very last class. Three years ago I swore I was never going to get my Masters degree, that it wasn't something that I wanted or needed. Funny how things work out. In 64 days I will be participating in my MSW Hooding Ceremony which is practiced tradition of social work students to commemorate the end. After all of the issues and stress that have come with attending The University of South Carolina I at one point debated not even participating in the ceremony. But, after talking with my dad I realized that down the road I may regret it. Partaking in the ceremony isn't for anyone else but myself. A celebration of my accomplishments, a transition tool, the ending to this chapter of my life.

                           Because in 73 days the next chapter begins!

Before my move to Charleston, I had spent the last eight months at home turning down blind dates, ignoring requests for my phone number and having every intention of continuing that behavior once I got to school. I had a plan. (I don't know why I haven't learned that those don't ever work out!) And, then I met my roommate. I would be lying to say that I wasn't attracted to him, but I had every intention of going to school, working, going out with new friends, and having fun being single in the city I had fallen in love with several years ago. God had other plans I guess, because my roommate became my best friend and now the love of my life. I do not know how I would have gotten through the last year in Charleston without him, and his unwavering support. 

It has been 250 days since we officially became a couple, and I will always remember that day. I will also always remember July 17th, 2014 because it was the day that I got the phone call from my boyfriend telling me that he had just gotten orders to Pearl Harbor and he was leaving January of 2015. While that could have been the day that we parted ways, and left each other as friends instead it was the night that he told me he loved me for the first time and the start of the rest of our lives. <3 

He has been so supportive of my education and pursuit of my dreams. There was never an expectation that I would follow him, or change my life plans simply for him. But, I have learned in these last 250 days what real love is and I can't imagine spending another day after graduation apart from my best friend. 

I have always said that I am a real gypsy. I can never stay in one place for too long. I am excited, and nervous, and elated, and scared, and so incredibly happy. Spending my life with my best friend and starting off in a beautiful place is just the start of our new adventure! 

On May 17th, 2015 I will board a plane in Milwaukee and touch down in the most expensive, and longest vacation ever  paradise. 

To my new adventure. To following my heart. To trusting God's plan. 

<3 Michelle 

...Just a Northern girl in a Southern World...

I've only been here for a month and I've already heard, "I love your accent" (my accent? You wanna talk about some accents...) and "You really are from the north aren't you?" (What gave it away-my lack of drawl or the NMU t-shirt I'm wearing?) LOL! 

 I loaded up my car, said my "see you later's" and drove off into the morning sunrise. The only thing was this time I wasn't running AWAY from anything, instead I was running TOWARDS something. And, I was scared. Scared enough that I actually sat in my driveway for a few minutes and hesitated starting my car. But, I looked in the rear view mirror at all my belongings that fit so neatly into the back of my SUV and I looked forward at the rising sun and remembered that I had a dream and I needed to chase it. I had to at least try. 

It's been about a month now since my GREAT adventure began. I spent my first week in Charleston unpacking, driving around and spending my days talking to a dog (my roommate's dog) that probably thinks I'm certifiably nuts but still sleeps in my bed at night with me :) 

My roommate is in the Marine Corps and was at a training the first three weeks that I was here. We get along great and I'm definitely positive that I lucked out in this deal. He gets extra brownie points for putting up with me during this transition like a trooper. 

Side note: when your roommate knows a shot of Fireball will make you happy-keep him ;) 

I haven't actively looked for a job until this week. School has been a struggle to adjust to. I'd like to think that whomever filled out an application for grad school for me and sent it in was on crack. (kidding-I don't now nor have I ever smoked crack.) I knew that the program would be intensive and that we would hit the ground running. I just didn't realize we would hit the ground running before the pistol was fired....

I'm incredibly happy to be back in the South-no doubt about it. I love the weather, and the sunshine and the people. But, I do miss my family. I miss Timberline. I miss my customers. I do NOT however miss the temperatures of Wisconsin. I am looking forward to flying home at the end of July for my little sister's bridal shower! I'm still adjusting, but I am incredibly happy to being back on my own and having my own place and my own things and my own routine. 

I may live in the South now, but the North will always be home <3 

You Musn't Be Afraid to Dream a Little Bigger, Darling!

I don't know about you, but I got dreams. Big ones.

Six months ago I didn't know where my life was going. Actually, that's not entirely true. I knew where my life was going because I had decided it wasn't going to go anywhere. I had decided to let a broken heart steal every last bit of faith and hope in my own self that I had left. I had given up on myself, my dreams, and life itself.

And, then I found myself on a plane back to Wisconsin. The very last place in the world that I wanted to be, yet the very place I needed to be.

Do you have any idea how much gumption it takes to say, "I need to be where I don't want to be, so I can get where I'm going?" Yeah, I didn't either. But, now I do. Nobody in their right mind wants to start out on a journey of a lifetime following their heart, and then turn end up taking three steps and a gigantic leap backwards. I moved to South Carolina, and ended up back in my childhood bedroom two months later (side note: I miss having my place, my own things, and my own routine)....it was literally the most depressing time of my life. I went from having such hope in my future and faith in my ability to do everything I had dreamed of. But, coming home only helped me realize I wasn't doing what I dreamed of. What I was doing was a revised version of my dream to suit someone else. What kind of life is that?!

Here I stand, six months later, embarking on a new path (still in the same direction-south!) but completely paved by my own dreams and goals and the only person who has the ability to stand in my way is myself.

I've had to do a lot of soul-searching, refurbishing of my faith, and "closet-cleaning," in the last six months. I have learned to let go of so much that I was allowing to weigh me down-which has turned out to be one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. I had to pick myself up and decide that enough was enough and I was deserving of so much more than I had accepted. I had to learn which relationships were no longer worth suffering over, which jobs weren't right for me, and what love I had to forgive. I had to learn how to say "no" with apologizing or explaining myself. I never realized how much relief one simple word can bring to the mind, but it has saved my sanity.

I have rediscovered my Faith in God and learned to trust His plan for me. There was days when I felt angry, and alone. Why would He make me go through so much? I didn't understand it. And, then I remembered that the teacher is always silent during the test. His plan wasn't for me to go through and keep going through it. His plan was for me to end up where I am-back in His arms where I belong. The very place I needed to be.



In seven months I will be right back where I was a year ago-but this time I won't be right back where I was. Geographically, yes. Emotionally, spiritually, educationally, financially, and relationally-I will be 180 degrees from where I was a year ago. For those of you that haven't been updated, or don't know the on-goings of my life here it is:

1) While I've been home (as in sucking up my pride and living with my parents who have graciously not charged me rent) I have managed to buy a new vehicle (a 2004 Saturn Vue) with no loans from the bank or any help from my parents. For the first time I own a vehicle that is in great condition, is reliable, is spacious, and is all mine. Paid in full. BOOM!

2) I have four jobs. Granted, they aren't in my career field, but they pay my bills and I enjoy them. Which leads me to number three.

3) I have paid off all debts with the exception of my student loans. I'm working on that part. But, to know that besides my car insurance and phone bill every month I owe no money to any other person.

4) By the Grace of God I have risen above what was the darkest of my days and I remember what it was like to not only believe in myself, but love myself.

5) I have renewed my Faith in God.  I had stopped going to church, I had stopped praying and I had stopped living a life that included Him. But, now I live my life for Him and through Him. I trust in His plan for me. I'm still working on the going to church on the regular, but I have started reading the Bible again, reading a daily devotional and praying like my momma taught me.

6) I have completely changed my health and eating habits. I now follow a Paleo lifestyle (as best I can-I'm still human and I still love chocolate!) and I exercise daily. I have never felt so healthy and alive! I look forward to going to the gym, and I love trying new foods, now!

7) I am applying to the University of South Carolina in Columbia, South Carolina. Applications are due by March 1st and I still have to take the GRE (February 12th to be exact), but I have a good feeling about it! I had swore I would never go to graduate school but I have since realized that it is exactly what I wanted to do!

8) And, after graduate school I want to join the United States Air Force as a commissioned officer and practice social work! My program is 11 months long and I hope to some how land an internship working with the military since this is where I'd like to focus my career, but we shall see! I will have 11 months to decide if joining the Air Force or simply working as a civil servant in the Air Force is the route for me. (I'm trying very hard to not plan too far in advance-I've learned from experience plans don't always work out. Ha!)

9) I have renewed friendships. I have learned the hard way what losing a friend feels like; what distance and change of lives can do to two people that were once so close. I care so dearly for my friends, and I am grateful for the opportunity to renew several friendships that mean so much to me.

10) And, yes  this all means I am moving back to South Carolina! I was raised in Wisconsin, in a tiny town that has such love for everyone in it but I don't belong here. Not right now, anyways. I will be moving back south come August in time for school. I will be able to have my own apartment right away, and I'll have my own car with me (the one that is spacious enough to move what very little belongings I have!). And I will be in the sunshine and near the beach and on my own adventure!

But, most importantly of all I am following MY dreams. I may have been detoured and road-blocked, and turned around a few more times than I initially planned but it's all gotten me to the place that I am at. Happy. So incredibly, and abundantly happy that I am bursting with joy! I have a dream, I have a plan (a pretty solid one at that), and my hope and Faith restored!

While my dreams have taken me a little longer to come alive, I am thankful for the lessons this journey has taught me and I am thankful for who I am and look forward to what I am capable of becoming.

Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future."

-Michelle

To Run or Not to Run?

Well, that's just a silly question!

Those that know me know I love to run. It is by far the most excellent (and cheapest) therapy I have ever found. Before my knee surgery in 2011 I was running up to six miles a day. I run when I'm happy. I run when I'm sad. I run when absolutely everything in this world irritates me and I feel like I want to punch someone in the face. But then I lace up my shoes and everything is better.

If you hate cardio I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems, but I run for fun!

In February 2011 I injured my knee while running on the treadmill. Actually, I didn't even injure it. I was running and suddenly felt like my knee was swelling up so I got off the treadmill and sure enough from my knee to my ankle was the twice the size than normal. After seeing one of the top orthopedic surgeons in Michigan (who did nothing for me), and four months of physical therapy I consulted an orthopedic surgeon in Green Bay. (if you ever have a need for an orthopedic surgeon go to Dr. Obma!) In May of 2011 I had laparoscopic surgery where it was discovered that my plica tissue had formed a groove in my femur bone and my cartilage was torn to shreds. Literally. It looked like a frayed pair of jeans. Two more months of physical therapy and on July 15, 2011 I ran for the first time in six months. There are no words for how happy I was on that day!

However, after six months of no physical activity including running I was fat. Okay, I wasn't fat. But, I had gained weight and lost most all of my motivation and ambition. My running shoes began to collect dust on my closet floor....

Fast forward to July of 2013. The month that my journey to get my health and happiness back began. I was DYING five minutes into a run. I couldn't complete a mile run to save my life. The girl that once ran six miles a day was clearly out of shape, and consistently out of breath. But, I didn't give up.  I ran (walked a lot!), and ran some more. Short sprints, long jogs, and some not-so-elegant dashes in-between. Not only did I have to get back into the groove of running, but I also had to do strength training for my knee. I couldn't run a mile to save my life without running out of breath let alone without any knee pain. That's what a year of lazy does for you. Nothing. It does literally nothing for you.

It has now been six months again. And, I'm not fat. I'm actually down thirty pounds (give or a take a few when it's that time of the month because we all know a hormonal woman will never turn down chocolate or carbs!) But, best of all I can run a mile in 9:22 with out losing my breath and with no knee pain!!!!!!

So, what's a girl to do with a new outlook on life, a personal best pace, and all time in the world?

Run a half-marathon.

I have been juggling the idea for awhile now, and I've decided to go for it! As one of my friends said, "You've pushed yourself this far why not go for it?!" So I'm going for it! I plan to run a 5k before the half-marathon but training starts TODAY! I haven't decided which half-marathon I want to run but I've looked up several in Wisconsin. I will probably choose one in May or June as weather would be better for running and will give me a little more time to train. I'm a little nervous, but so excited to do this and check it off my bucket list. In all honesty, I don't care about my time or even placing. I just care about committing to something new in my health and happiness journey that I can be proud of. Something that I said I was going to do, and did.

So here's to another exciting adventure in 2014. Here's to health and happiness. And, here's to some really sore legs for the next couple months!



...23 Things I've Done by 26 Instead of Being Married by 23...

Disclaimer: This is not a bash blog post. This is simply a post in reference to the two articles going around social media outlets as of late.

I'm sure you've seen (or at least heard about) the article going our Facebook where the blogger writes about 23 things to do instead of getting engaged by 23. She reportedly wrote the article as a personal bucket list, but in a fashion that suggests that all other women should do the same (or similar) things as she instead of getting married at a young age.

If you haven't read this blog here is the link. It would be helpful to read to have a background to the rest of my post. http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/

I just recently also read a post from a twenty-five year old that was in reference to the aforementioned blog. http://kbeauregard.wordpress.com/2013/12/31/my-first-blog-the-result-of-a-close-minded-23-year-old/ This post obviously was in favor of marriage by age 23 and all the things you are still capable of doing regardless of your marriage status or age.

Here's my take on it all

I believe in love. Young love. Old love. In-between love. Friend love. Family love. I love you but I'm not IN love with you love. and my current kind-I love my dog love.

I also don't believe that there is an age requirement for marriage. I don't believe that there an age too young to marry, realistically speaking (if you respond with "what about twelve year olds that are forced into marriage..." or something along those lines, please find someone to slap you for asking such a ridiculous question). I don't believe that getting married by or at age twenty-three carries any consequences or causes anyone to miss out on anything. Just like I don't think that getting married at a later age allows you to experience any more or less than that of someone younger.

I have friends that were married younger than 23 have multiple children and blessed in ways I only wish I could be, I have met people in my current job that didn't get married until 2013 after already having been together for 20+ years and are near retirement. Last but not least, my baby sister is getting married this year eleven days before her 23rd birthday. And, she's done more in life at age 22 than half the people she knows her age.

I had plans when I was younger. I thought I would be married and have at least one child by the time I was 25. You know what they say, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him you have plans." Being married and having children, right now at age 26, just wasn't meant for me I guess. I would be lying if I said that I never cared, or that I don't feel sad about it sometimes. But I've gotten to a point in my life that I appreciate what I have accomplished instead. That's not saying that I've done more than my friends and family that are/will be married young-that's saying that I've experienced so much more than I would have been able to if I had been married or than I would have been able to if I had married the first or even second person that I thought was "the one."

So here's my list of the top 23 things I've done by age 26 instead of being married by 23:

 

1. Got a passport at age 16. I then traveled to France while in high school and have stood on top of the Eiffel Tower and I have seen the Mona Lisa.

 

2. I went to college. Actually, I went to 3 colleges. I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in 2012 at the age of 24 from Northern Michigan University.

 

3. I found my "thing." and it is one of many "things" that I have found.

 

4. I joined a sorority in college. And, some of my best friends because of it.

 

5. I fell in love.

 

6. I became an aunt and learned just how much love a heart can hold. <3

 

7.  I moved across the country. With a one-way plane ticket and two checked bags. literally.

 

8. I've had my heart broken.

 

9. Because of those heart breaks I've learned more about myself and what I want most out of relationship than I ever would have known.

 

10. I bought a car! All on my own without help from my parents or the bank.

 

11. I've been to Disney World (there is seriously no place as magical as Disney-even at 24)!

 

12. I've dated several people. not at the same time. I don't know about you, but I don't like things blowing up in my face.

 

13. I have in fact made out with a perfect stranger. And, realized it's way more fun to make out with someone I'm dating.

 

14. I got a tattoo. Then I got another tattoo. This month, I'm getting my third.

 

15.  I lost my faith. But, I found it again. V

16. I lived on my own and walked through my house naked all the time. I did not however break the law with public ludeness by standing in front of my window naked (nobody would want to see that naked anyways-then maybe).

 

17. I joined a gym. And to my surprise I kept going back. I've now lost 30 pounds and stand in my mirror naked all the time! :)

 

18. I started a blog. Wrote a few times, and never wrote again. Then I remembered the really stupid stuff I wrote about and started this blog.

 

19. I touched the ocean!

 

20. I sucked up my pride and moved back into my parent's house. TEMPORARILY.

 

21. I cut my hair off. I can't get it to grow past my shoulders now :(

 

22. I made new friends and I rekindled old friendships.

 

23. I wrote this blog post about what I've done instead of being married and having children. But, it doesn't mean I've done any more or any less than anyone else. No matter their age.

 

 

No matter what age you get married at or what you've accomplished by the time you get married (or at any point in your life) it doesn't matter. All the matters is that you are happy and that you are full-filled. It's your life. No one else's. Stop comparing yourself to other's and just do what makes your heart fill with joy (or your head tell you "that was stupid").

 

 



...every journey begins with a single step, so you should probably have a cute pair of shoes...

Welcome, 2014!!

So, it's a new day and a new year and I can't begin to put into words how incredibly excited I am for this year!! There is so much going on in 2014 that my heart is overfilled with happiness and my brain and fingers are itching to write about every minute of it! <3

Between applying to graduate school, moving back to South Carolina, and my baby sister's wedding this year is sure to be an adventure!

I've always been the adventurous type. I'd rather being going outside my comfort zone than staying where I feel safe and this year will be about testing my boundaries and experiencing everything that this world has to offer. I am completely in love with places I've never been and with people I've never met!

I believe that you should spend your time creating a life you love otherwise you'll be spending a lot of time living a life you don't like. I can't imagine what kind of life it would be if contentment was all that was sought. I don't want to be content. I want to wake up every morning excited about whatever the day has for me. I want to laugh every moment possible, and smile even when others are not. This year it will be about me. It will be about my new journey. It will be about seeking happiness, and adventure like I've never known.

So, spend a few minutes today or tomorrow, or even the day after thinking about what it is that YOU truly want. Not about what is going to make someone else happy. And then TAKE THAT FIRST STEP! This is YOUR journey. Only you get to decide where it's going to lead and how amazing the ride is going to be!

 

 

Jeremiah 29:11

 

God Bless Y'all!

 

 

Michelle <3